He'd love to just wait in the cab ...

A 20-something man sits in a taxi in front of his parents' house, trying to find the strength to tell them that he has experienced quite the life-changing event.  He lingers in the stale cigarette-tasting air, his hands planted thoughtfully on either side of his worn denim jeans on a hard vinyl seat filled with crumbs and sticky substances that under normal conditions would have made him gag with disgust and reach for his antibacterial gel.  He absently peeked over at the woman beside him.  She smiled a nervous and thin smile, pulled his one weak hand up and clutched it tightly within her own.  Anxiety vibrated in the air between them.  On the second finger of her left hand a 2-carat princess cut diamond solitaire sparkled coldly in the darkened cab whenever the streetlamp above got trapped inside its fathomless crystal depths.  He squeezed her hands tightly back, determination finally steeling him to open his cab door and step out into the brisk suburban night.  He knew the neighbors were watching behind old and yellowed lace curtains; they had been sitting here for nearly 5 minutes now.  Tongues were wagging.  Phones were nearby in case there was a sudden need to phone the Police.  One could never be too careful.  Fortunately for the nosy neighbors, this man was not here for any dirty deeds involving them; rather, he was here to confess his own dirty deed to his parents.  He had finally arrived at their doorstep to introduce them to his new wife.  They hadn't even known he was seeing anyone.  To be honest, he hadn't expected this sudden elopement himself.  They had taken a vacation to Lancaster, PA and the Amish country was just so full of charm and romance and good breweries that one thing led to another and they just couldn't help themselves.  What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas but what happens in Lancaster must be brought back to Mom and Dad.  He sighed.  He didn't regret their rash and impulsive decision but his parents were going to be devastated.  He had stolen the joy from them being able to be a part of their only child's wedding.  Might as well get this over with.  He crossed over to the other side of the taxi and opened his wife's door (wife, odd as that sounds to say).  They slowly walked towards the front door.  The porch light was off.  There was a thin crust of freshly fallen snow on the ground and they left a double set of footprints up the walkway.  He slipped once but caught himself before he went the entire way down.  Cursing under his breath he wondered if this evening could get any more uncomfortable.  He was tired of prolonging the agony of the inevitable.  He rang the doorbell.  Waited.  Nothing.  He rang it again and knocked on the door for good measure.  Still nothing.  A cold sweat broke out on his neck and a small part of his brain registered amazement that he could sweat in this frigid weather.  Then he noticed a note on the door.  He pulled it off, leaving some tape and one corner of the paper on the entrance.  He squinted in the dark and struggled to read the following:  Darling, We have decided to take a spontaneous vacation to escape this winter.  You know how your father's bones ache so in the cold.  We're away, in the Pacific, on a boat.  We'll be back in the Spring.  You can't reach us, we're blissfully unable to make contact with the outside world.  I do hope you are not cross with us; please don't worry, we will be fine.  If you do need anything in the house, use your key.  If there are any problems, talk to Mrs. Gitchum next door, she'll be caring for the house while we're away.  Most of all, dear, I love you.  See you in a few months though I can't give you an exact date.  I hope you don't do anything crazy while we're gone, like get married!  This thought makes me chuckle, I know my son would never do anything like this to his parents.  The wild imagination of an aging woman, eh?  Hugs and Kisses, Mother.